I’ve ceased blogging for a long time.
Perhaps it’s because I realized that most of my potential posts over the last few months would have be more of laments and monologues laced with deep disappointments and confusion. Yes, a catharsis for my soul it’ll be if written down… Yet this year, I wanna move beyond cathartic measures to truly something that will completely heal, restore and recalibrate my life.
It’s Day 2 of the YWAM renewal retreat… And I’m confronted with how closed and damaged my heart has become. Wanted so much to engage with God again…but a part of me has shut down. I got reminded about how I fractured my ribs last year in school of dance. It took me almost 2months of rest and no dancing before I could move without pain again. That, i believe.. Is a reflection of my spiritual being now. Sick and broken hearts also need time to close shop and heal. I hope it won’t take too long though. I want to start flying.
Dan Sneed shared a mini essay today that woke me up.
Learn to love and treasure today and not let the past’s regrets or fears of tomorrow rob you of the joy for today.
This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad he did.
Yes…I’m rather tired of waking up depressed and trudging through each day. I want to learn to make each day matter even if I’m not at the epitome of freedom and joy yet. It’ll come, I know.
Tucked away in our subconscious is an idyllic vision. We see ourselves on a long trip that spans the continent. We are traveling by train.
Out the windows we drink in the passing scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant, of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains and rolling hillsides, of city skylines and village halls.
But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. Bands will be playing and flags waving. Once we get there our dreams will come true, and the pieces of our lives will together like a jigsaw puzzle.
How restlessly we pace the aisles… Waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
“When we reach the station, that will be it, ” we cry.
“When I’m 18…”
“When I buy a new 450SL Mercedes-Benz…”
“When I put the last kid through college…”
“When I have paid off the mortgage…”
“When I get a promotion…”
” When I reach the age of retirement, I shall live happily ever after.”
Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all. The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.
“Relish the moment” is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24 “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad.”
It isn’t the burdens of today that drive men mad. It is the regrets over yesterday and the fears of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin thieves who rob us of today.
So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot more often, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets, laugh more, cry less.
Life must be lived as we go along. The station will come soon enough.
Robert J. Hastings